Bye-bye, social life

November 4, 2009 in daily, humour | Tags: Facebook, flirtation, secretary butt

Due to some incredibly amazing awesome outstanding fabulous opportunities that have come my way this past week or so, it appears as though my social life will be put on hiatus indefinitely. I will not elaborate at the moment but I can assure you that this thing called life is effing great. Unfortunately, I’ve lost all feeling in my ass from sitting here for about 12 hours per day. Secretary butt, I think it’s called. Did I mention I can now flex my glutes to the tune of a song? It’s a new party favour of mine.

And with respect to my newfound responsibilities, lack of social life and the decision to cut men out of my life entirely, the following is now my idea of foreplay:

Best conversation with a stranger ever

Oh, Chad.

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30 comments

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November 4, 2009 at 3:16 am

Carissajaded

Oh I love it! Sexual facebook banter with strangers is the best kind of facebook banter. If it makes you feel any better, for the most part I get all my action on facebook. Although i made out in a car for about 30 minutes the other night a la’ highschool.

I can’t wait to hear about what you’re going to be up to!!

November 4, 2009 at 3:30 am

It’s always so random when strangers comment on my FB posts. I really wonder about people’s free time these days…

November 4, 2009 at 3:40 am

linlah

This may be an old/odd reference but is he a hanging Chad?

November 4, 2009 at 3:41 am

Abbie

I can’t wait to hear about your exciting fabulous opportunities!!!

November 4, 2009 at 4:03 am

Deidre

Haha, hanging Chad – awesome Linlah!

Sounds like things are going great – can’t wait to hear more!

November 4, 2009 at 4:31 am

Nancy

Can’t wait to hear about all the new, exciting stuff going on in your life. Love the fb flirting too. Nothing like flirting with strangers. (Or used to be, before I tied the knot, lol)

November 4, 2009 at 4:42 am

papertrail23

I won’t elaborate either but yay!

November 4, 2009 at 9:15 am

neha

oooh do tell! i have a vague idea though … very very vague

November 4, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Sherri

You know what they say don’t you? Guys who flirt on FB cannot flirt in person. It’s a rule to live your life by!

Also, hurray for fantastic opportunities! I wish you well!

November 4, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Danielle

What the hell are you going to have to post about if you don’t have a social life. Come on, I live vicariously through you!

November 4, 2009 at 3:58 pm

*uncorked

Fantastic.

November 4, 2009 at 3:59 pm

*uncorked

And good luck with all the opportunities! You’re excited and sound happy – though I will miss hearing about your stories since you’re on “hiatus” – please don’t let it last too long.

November 4, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Christopher Mercer

You won’t really cut people out

November 5, 2009 at 12:28 am

The Constant Complainer

Fabulous opportunities. Very nice. I look forward to hearing more.

Haha, that “Chad” conversation was funny. Tell him to take that sh*t to My Space. LOL.

November 5, 2009 at 2:17 am

Sabina

Candice! Your indefinite hiatus will be SOOO worth it!!

(do try to make time for the gym, though. Secretary butt might not be easy to get rid of)

November 5, 2009 at 2:54 am

angryredhead

Love the support here! You guys rock.

@Carissa: Did you seriously make out with someone for 30 minutes in a car? God, I wasn’t even cool enough for that in high school.

@J: I kinda enjoyed his skipping all the formalities thing. Although, doing it in front of my Aunt Deb was a bad move.

@Linlah: Hahahaahaha, I had to look up the meaning on Urban Dictionary, is it the same reference?

@Abbie: I’ll give details soon!!

@Deidre: Thanks, life is good!

@Nancy: Thanks! Ye, I’m pretty awful at flirting. Pretty sure I come off as cynical and bitter. Hahahaha.

@Julie: Double yay!!!

@Neha: I’ll update soon.

@Sherri: Thanks, I appreciate it! And totally true about the flirting thing. Same applies to me, hahaha.

@Danielle: I guess by “lack of social life” I mean only partying once a week…don’t worry, I’ll make up for it in one night!

@V: Super happy and SUPER excited!! Wheee. Tomorrow I’ll have time for a post, I think. Considering how long it took me to do these replies, hahahaha.

@Chris: Nope, I need a beer right about NOW.

@TCC: SERIOUSLY! When did Facebook becoming a dating network? Although i do enjoy the banter…the convo carried on for awhile.

@Sabina: AGREED! Oh, the gym is worked into my schedule, trust me. I am jogging my ASS off for the rest of the week. Literally.

November 5, 2009 at 5:15 am

blunt delivery

i’m totally stalking you on FB now!?!?!

November 6, 2009 at 3:23 am

angryredhead

ABOUT TIME!

November 5, 2009 at 5:42 am

Eric

I am excited for you and your new opportunities. Can’t wait to hear what they are. I have to admit though I am a bit sad. Your exploits were always fun to read about, not to mention the funny pics you would post at times. Good luck and when is the new site going up? Anticipation sucks!

November 6, 2009 at 3:24 am

angryredhead

Thanks! And don’t worry, I’m not disappearing entirely, just perhaps being less of a boozebag. Hopefully the site will be up soon, just waiting on a few things…any day now!

November 5, 2009 at 1:50 pm

ClassroomConfessions

Ah! I wanna know what you’re doing!!

That FB convo is just awesome!! Is he cute Maybe you could do it on Thursdays too!

November 6, 2009 at 3:24 am

angryredhead

BAHAHAHA, awesome! I couldn’t see his profile picture, and I considered adding him to my friends list but then decided against it, hahaha.

November 5, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Blondie

Hazaa! New opportunities are terrifyingly wonderful! good thing everyone who wrote on that FB thread previously is now getting updates about your guys’ banter.

November 6, 2009 at 3:25 am

angryredhead

Seriously! Including my Aunt Deb.

November 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm

nashe