Damn, I was kinda hoping for a more dramatic update about the wisdom teeth extraction, an entry filled with blood and near-death experiences and gory adult teeth with long roots dangling from the ends.

 

But to be honest, the whole thing went smoothly. I feel fine, other than being ravenously hungry while my roommate is eating delicious greasy chicken right in front of me and all I can get down is a pudding. And the gauze in my mouth is still soaked in blood, and now I have big bag of bloody gauze in my bedroom. The sheer sight of it makes me want to scream. Sexy?

 

I was super, super freaked out about this surgery. I don’t know why, but mostly I think I was afraid of the anaesthesia. For real. I knew being IV sedated would be my best option, but I’ve heard that redheads need more anaesthesia than other people and I was terrified I’d be one of those weird cases where I’d be paralysed but totally conscious of everything going on, including a scalpel cutting into my gums.

 

But when I woke up after being sedated, I felt incredible. It was the most bizarre, relieving feeling I’ve ever had. I wasn’t even high, although I did kinda stumble around the pharmacy like a drunkard, my cheeks swollen with gauze stuffing and blood crusted to my lips. I crawled up the stairs when I got home and popped a few drugs, watched a movie with Chef and spent the remainder of the day camped on the futon.

 

The pharmacist did, however, tell me she required an enema after taking the Atasol-3o drugs I’m on. That’s the most I’ve ever needed to know about a stranger.

 

Then I ate ice-cream. Lots and lots of ice-cream.

 

Now I have a surgical glove filled with my wisdom teeth, and I don’t really know what possessed me to keep them. Does the tooth fairy visit for these sort of things? Could he or she possibly bring me $600 to help with my new websites? Sprinkle some stardust over my head so I can win the lottery and move on?

 

Totally taking advantage of these days off to do NOTHING. I apologize in advance for lack of drunken stories.

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