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1. Today I wore my shirt backwards. ALL DAY.
2. Two nights ago I walked out of my room to replace my towel in the bathroom, completely naked. Just strolled right out there in the hallway, naked as a j-bird. The roommates were downstairs, fortunately.
I’m too tired for the blogging world today. I just wasted four hours wandering aimlessly around the mall, trying to find rubber boots and a flashlight for camping. I decided to borrow rubber boots from Ani but I still have no flashlight. There were sales everywhere and I searched for a nice, pleated skirt, but to no avail. I’m in the middle of the Shopaholic series, and while reading the book today, warning bells started going off in my head. ALERT ALERT THIS CRAZY BITCH IS JUST LIKE YOU.
I ended up feeling too guilty to buy anything new, even though there’s a bajillion things I need. “Need.” Like a raincoat, some dressy sandals, matching jewellery for my Johnny Ruth dress. And I have yet to make a payment on my bed. My lovely amazing bed. Oh, then there’s the curtains for my bedroom, the wall tattoo for my headboard, and the candelabra for my fireplace…
And the puppy.
What I’m really trying to say is that my bills are creeping up on me and I expect them to soon kick me in the box. I’m in the middle of trying to write a decent article to be published or something, but there’s just no time. Never mind the fact I jumped on the wrong fucking bus tonight, and somehow turned a 15 minute ride into a 90 minute ride. WILL SOMEONE PAY ME TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS?
Today, at lunchtime, my coworkers and I attempted to hit up the Casbah for some chocolate-chip-banana-bread-French-toast, cos I’ve been raving about it for a century. Unfortunately, the place was closed, and so we decided to head to Velma’s Traditional Newfoundland food (where I devoured a plate of gravy, fries, and a turkey sandwich, and then punished myself by walking around Signal Hill for two hours).
Anyway, so we passed a sidewalk sale at Johnny Ruth where all the dresses were on sale for $50. JR is shamelessly expensive; I poked around in there the other day but couldn’t find anything for under $200. If I’m going to buy any piece of clothing for $200 or more, it better damned well be able to do my taxes and tuck me into my bed at night.
So then I found my red dress, THE red dress, the RED dresses of all RED dresses…exactly what I was looking for to wear to Spirit Fest and my cousin’s wedding… eye-catching, slightly provocative, and classy. The kind of dress that says come hither all you sexy, single men…and buy me a drink.
It was $150 originally. Go me.
I’m in the puppy market again, and this time I’m determined. I’ve narrowed my search down to either an Alaskan Malamute or a Bernese Mountain Dog. The Malamute is my all-time dream dog and I’ve been dying to own one since I was a young lass. Unfortunately, there are no breeders within the province, and I can’t find a pup for under $1500. They’re also notoriously intelligent and mischievous, thus posing potential problems for someone like me who isn’t overly familiar with the breed.
Don't you want to just EAT IT?
The Bernese is more up my ally… plus I know a friend of a friend whose family breeds the dogs, and so far they’ve proven to be exceptionally professional and friendly.
Can I have BOTH?!
All I know is that I have PUPPY FEVER, which is better than BABY FEVER I am sure. Pretty soon I will be hosting a Birthday party for my new pup, and maybe a Baptism. Maybe I will start an exclusive club. Maybe I will go to a dog bakery and get the dog a dog cake. BUT, if I ever want to get laid again… I won’t.
Discovered an amazing new pub last night, The Duke of Duckworth. Not new, exactly, but recently uninhabited by me and therefore not worthy of existence. And holy jaysus is Kerouac pretentious or what?
When I was in France two weeks ago, I picked up the cheapest body wash I could find at the supermarket. I didn’t even smell it or read the label, just tossed it in my cart and went on my way.
But I have since become so obsessed with the smell and texture of the cream, that I fear its inevitable bottom. It simply might just be the best thing that has ever come in contact with my skin, and that includes men.
But what the hell am I gonna do when it’s gone? Seriously? If someone can track down a box of these babies and mail them to me, I will be forever grateful. I will spam the Internet with words of appraisal; I will scream my happiness from the top of Signal Hill. Or at least tell me where I can buy this online.
I have developed an unbelievable obsession with food. I had a fucking dream the other night that I was having some kind of internal war with myself about whether or not to eat a piece of cake. In the end I chose the healthy option, and awoke feeling rather happy about it.
So today I tried to stop my sugar binging. I even declined my co-worker’s offer to buy me an Ice Cap at Tim Horton’s. But then my other co-worker brought oatmeal and raisin cookies in a bag of good intentions and wide smiles. I can’t help but feel guilty when I looked at him in disgust and horror. Then I devoured one cookie, and had a strawberry cheesecake ice-cream for good measure.
You know what else is amazing?! Chips Ahoy cookies dipped in Orange Pekoe tea. Omgomgomogmomg. But ONLY Chips Ahoy!! They soften just perfectly; the miost ones will merely fall apart.
It’s not that I think I’m fat or anything, but I’ve worked very hard these past six months. And I’m single. And practically celibate. And my gawd if I ever hope to get married someday my legs better not look like cottage cheese in a silk bag.
PET PEEVE OF THE CENTURY: WHY, WHY is there NO good Canadian shopping online?! WTF?! I just want to make outrageous purchases and THE INTERNET WON’T LET ME!
Going to start learning web design, as an amateur. Someone point me to some good reading.
I’m really happy, and I don’t know why. It’s like I’m high. My hair is pretty and my body feels firm. Everything is equally aligned in the universe. I’m radiating.
I have nothing to do in the evenings, so I think I’m just going to start going to the gym all the time. Why not? Even for a quick work-out. I like this “new” me. I’ve been eating a ridiculous amount of chocolate and candy per day but somehow lost 9 lbs. That’s not really my goal, but hey, whatever works.
I went to a Ballistic clearance sale today in search of summer clothes. I ended up buying a Burton long-sleeved shirt, a hoodie, and some sweet wedge sandals. None of these things are typically my style because I’m not a skeety skater, but I need a hoodie for walks and sandals for Mexico…although they match nothing I own. Well, why don’t I just show you?
I’ve never heard of this brand before, We are the Superlative Conspiracy. Some new label with the intention of inventing “street fashion” as opposed to “streetwear.” I have no idea what that means, nor do I care, because I saved at least $150 on this purchase which came to only $50.
I can’t really decide who the sucker in this situation is…the designer label whose designs are now being worn by a complete unstreet-worthy girl, or me for being seduced by a sale and buying things I never really needed in the first place. Oh well, at least I’m happy.
Researching the hell out of buying an Alaskan Malamute puppy at the end of the summer. I’ve even been watching The Dog Whisperer, which is super cheesy but really makes me excited about raising a pup. The only thing stopping me is the fact that Malamutes are incredibly intelligent animals and are not easily trainable, and well…I just suck in general.
Isn’t everything better in Japanese?
Check it my new gear for Beerfest. Classy enough?
I decided not to go with the dress thing after all, as the general consensus seems to be “t-shirt and jeans” or “plaid shirt and straw hat” (overheard by Jagerbomb). So I thought this was a good compromise.
Do I have style? I’m a little unsure. I need to stop spending money. The purse was a necessity because I ripped the lining out of my giant one and it began smelling like funky gym socks anyway. This one has a little owl attached, which might be my new favourite animal next to cats and wolves.
How do I prevent my ass from continuously burning in the tanning bed? I have like, a giant red welt on my left cheek. It’s kinda itchy. Is this the beginning of skin cancer? It’s causing me a little distress.
I hit up the gym after work today, then went straight to the mall, then came home and had supper at 10 p.m. This evening was the first time I have ever observed myself beneath fluorescent lights in a dressing room and was pleased with the definition of my arms.
Lottie: “My hips get all squished together in those high skirts.”
Me: “I want to go to Orlando.”
Jagerbomb: “I like food.”
(20 second interval)
Lottie: “It’s good to know we all listen to each other’s needs.”
The meat mystery turned out not to be a mystery at all, but an unfortunate incident involving Beer and forgotten moose meat. Yum. We found a steak hidden under the pillows later that day.
After work yesterday, I literally spent the entire evening watching movies and TVs. Myself and a few ladies went to see Seven Pounds, mostly because I feel that Will Smith is the love of my life. The movie was extremely good, but heartbreaking. I tried to hold in my tears until my eyeballs nearly exploded, but then I heard everyone else sniffling and snorting beside me, so I let loose too.
After the movie was over, I purchased a purple pair of open-toed shoes at Le Chateau to make myself feel better. It worked. I love how the purple accentuates my ankle veins.
Then, at home, I found myself watching The Women. It wasn’t bad, although suspiciously similar to Sex and the City…right down to the skanky blonde and the curly-haired sweetheart. Wtf.
Tonight I shall do something productive. Like laundry. Maybe a new recipe. Learn some Spanish phrases. Cerveza?
