There’s this crazy lady who always gets on my bus in the afternoon and talks to herself. She’s quite famous. I think she used to be a prostitute. Anyway, one day I was talking to my friend, when I exclaimed, “Oh my God!” about nothing in particular.

The crazy lady turns to me in all seriousness, and asks, “What’s the matter honey? Are you having a climax?”

I wish.

Another day, she was roaming around my bus stop proclaiming, “Nobody can persecute me! Nobody can persecute me in the name of the Lord! Bob Hatchett!”

She wears twenty inch black boots, little or no clothing, and she has no teeth. She also carries around all her belongings in a cart. I feel like documenting her life. All she needs is 20 cats, and I’d be looking upon the perfect future role model for myself.

Honestly, about 80% of the passengers on Metrobus are bat-shit crazy, which doesn’t say much for myself.