I’ve succumbed to vanity in the form of gel nails (LCN). I just love them. J-Nurse bought me acrylics for my graduation party, and I was hooked. They’re just fantastic.

Since then, I have discovered that there is an elite club for “nail people.” Like a secret handshake. Someone on the bus will catch a glimpse of my dazzling, swirly, blue nailpolish and say, “Wow, great nails! Where’d you get ’em done?” Said person than launches into a lengthy discussion about her own aesthetician, her gripes with past salons, and her favorite polish colours.

I, too have become a nail snob. I snicker at people who chew their nails down to their cuticles. I laugh at clear, boring polishes. I drum my finely filed fingernails on any hard surface while waiting impatiently in a line-up.

Although to be perfectly honest, I drop a shitload of cash on these things and will probably give them up soon. But still, in the meantime…