Really, what is the point of alcohol? Saturday was a magnificent day. I accomplished so much because I wasn’t hungover. Clearly I’m an alcoholic. Maybe I should just quit drinking entirely and resort to some sort of lighter drug, like marijuana.

Drinking results in nights like last night, which in turn results in me sleeping in until 6 p.m. today, which results in me not sleeping tonight, which results in me being miserable at work tomorrow.

Drinking also results in me falling down on my ass twice last night, leaving me with skinned palms and a bruised ego/butt.