In the far left corner is Signal Hill. If you squint really, really hard...you'll see it

In the far left corner is Signal Hill. If you squint really, really hard...you'll see it

Dis 'ere boat is big sure
Dis ‘ere boat is big sure

The view from my office window. Signal Hill is entirely invisible, as are The Narrows. As a way of keeping employees at work, my company ordered six pizzas for dinner. It worked. Like I’d ventured outside in this hellish nightmare anyway… maybe I’ll sleep underneath my desk tonight, with the elevator ghost. This building used to be one huge club, apparently. The elevator is now haunted by the ghost of a person who took a heart attack inside. Seriously, we’ve joked about the elevator for months before knowing its history. One of my coworkers was inside once when the phone rang. She didn’t answer it for fear that it was the Matrix.

Gee, I can hardly wait to stand on the bus stop while being pelted with freezing rain and snow and most likely having to wait an extra hour or two for the damned thing to arrive because the system here is crap. I’ll most likely get carried away by the wind anyway. I’ll get deposited in a tree somewhere and will be picking pine needles out of my ass for weeks.

The boys attempted to bathe Frank last night. They absolutely adore the dog, he’s tough as nails. They play rough with him, feed him raw meat, and encourage him to hump females. It took three of them to keep the animal in the tub, but at least he doesn’t smell like rancid ass anymore.

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