I forfeited the designer glasses in favour of some super-duper-awesome black frames. I kinda look like an artfag… all I need is a plaid scarf and a toque with bunny ears.

 

My landlord and his handyman came to the apartment last night to fix our sink… it’s leaking into the tenants’ apartment downstairs (Ha! Take that!). Now the five of us can only use the left side of the sink, and we have NO DISHWASHER. Do you understand the folly of this? DO YOU? The counter/floor/sink is going to be filled with dirty dishes. Nobody will wash them. We will be forced to eat without cutlery. I’m having PEOPLE OVER tonight for Dinner’s graduation from the navy. I made CUPCAKES. Cupcakes that will be overshadowed by the towering piles of plates. Fuckity.

 

Then, the handyman, who generally seems like a nice guy although I can only understand what he’s saying about 50% of the time (he has one of those dirty islander accents), regaled us with tales of how his girlfriend in the Phillipines is in love with him and wants to move to Canada to be with him. They talk on the phone for hours and often over webcam. True love dost exist! It went on and on and on and on and I couldn’t stop staring at his unibrow or his chipped teeth and I was getting angrier over the fact that he had tracked mud all over the floor. Even if we tried to divert the conversation to CUPCAKES, he eventually found a way to relate it to his mistress. “Chocolate? Oh, that’s the colour of my lover’s skin! Sprinkles? That’s her online screenname!” I hope it works out for him, although the general consensus is that she’s using him to get into Canada. Whore.

 

I am beyond exhausted. I stayed awake for the better part of the night thinking of a new marketing slogan. I wasn’t required to do so… I was simply sent out into Internet-land to find a thoughtful quote concerning the sea and its opportunities. But I wanted to add a personal touch of genius. I waited for something to strike me so I could say “AH-HA!” In doing so, my bosses would realize how incredible I am, thus securing my position here for at least another decade, thus allowing me to pay off my loans. Oh my Gawd the endless worry and self-doubt. Anyway, I sent off a large email to the marketing manager this morning with a bunch of excellent quotes from famous people and some of my own ideas. Come onnnn brilliance.

 

MsWorld and I stayed in last night, watching hours of television and bitching about life in general. It’s her Birthday today. I regret that I cannot join her in her festivities. Maybe I can shower her with love and devotion later.

 

Which reminds me, my horoscope has been eerily accurate for the past two days. On Monday, it told me to MOVE OUT. Today, it told me to stop feeling so overwhelmed by all my social endeavours, relax, and keep doing an excellent job. God, someone nominate me for Miss Universe already.

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