My parents and ‘lil bro are in town, crashing at the Janeway because ‘lil bro has some kinda thyroid problem which explains his lankiness and knobby knees. Anyway, I’m really glad to see them considering I’ve sufficently used up all my vacation time until July 2010 and apparently family time is not a priority with me.


I am always left with an aching sense of guilt when they leave, because I am terribly impatient and I do not see eye-to-eye with them at all. I love them to death a billion times over, but sometimes my gawd I just want to claw my eyes out and throw a tantrum and smash beer bottles.


For example, the last time they visited, my father cooked pea soup for me. I was not aware that pea soup is an all-day endeavour, so he slaved over the stove for 3498934893 hours until I arrived after work. Mom was foaming at the mouth, absolutely furious that dad had wasted the entire day cooking for me. The dishes were dirty the room smelled and the entire day was just ruined.


So the other day I’m talking to dad on the phone and he says, “What would you like for supper? Pea soup?” And holy hell mom overhears this and starts screaming in the background, “DON’T YOU DARE COOK HER PEA SOUP! NO MORE PEA SOUP! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO COOK PEA SOUP!”



There’s a muffled exchange of curse words and when dad gets back on the phone, I can hear mom still shouting (and likely waving her arms frantically): “NO PEA SOUP! YOU TELL HER! WE WILL NOT SPEND ALL DAY MAKING PEA SOUP!”



This is the same woman who created this:





And that is just one reason why I love my family.