I just spent 90 FUCKING MINUTES of my life on the phone between Bell and Aliant. The idiot shitface representative at Bell signed me up for Bell Expressvu because I didn’t realize I was calling the wrong department, then I got sent to Aliant, then forwarded to another department where I was hung up on halfway through the call. I FINALLY got everything sorted out. The representatives in the Newfoundland department were pretty awesome though, I must admit. Totally friendly and helpful.


So today officially marks ONE MONTH UNTIL MEXICO. One month until I’m sunbathing on the beach, drinking mojitos, and bangin’ some Mexicans. I’m just jokin’, me and Albertian are sharing a bed so there will be no hanky-panky. Also, she informed me of this wicked awesome bar around the Cancun called Basic. I’ve never heard of it, but apparently it’s an open-roof, floating bar that hosts a “foam’ party every Sunday. I want to get COVERED in FOAM. All over my BODY. It’s like every person’s fantasy, to be covered in a wet sticky substance among a crowd of horny tourists. Am I right or what?


I’m totally addicted to tanning, fyi. I have freckles popping up in places I never knew freckles could exist. Like the underside of my forearm, perv.


I forgot to mention in my previous post another example of my drunken debauchery… I came home on Saturday night and spent at least 20 minutes trying to take out my contacts, only to realize that I had already taken them out and they were soaking in solution. I scratched my eyeballs to the point of bloodshed (not literally cos that’s pretty gross. And do eyeballs bleed anyway? What’s an eyeball made of? Google that shit and let me know. I imagine a gelatine-like substance).


Lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety about my future. And my present. I love my job and I’m having a blast here in St. John’s, but this is not my life goal. Nowhere near my life goal. When I pick up travel magazines or flip through guides, I am overcome with excitement and bliss and longing. I still wish I had gone to South Korea. I read about peoples’ adventures around the world and it kills me. How do people finance this? How do I get started? How do I become a travel writer?


I have this overwhelming feeling that I am meant to do something monumental. Does anyone else feel this way? I always have, but maybe it’s a normal part of human existence…that desire to leave a legacy. I don’t know if I want to leave a legacy, but I just feel like my life is supposed to be selfless. I often feel like I should give it all up, move to South Africa and take care of some starving kids or work at a conservation park in Chile. Or save tons of beached whales. Or educate children. Or deliver babies into the world. What?


Otherwise my life seems stupid. Having a family has never been a priority, although I’m open to change. My lack of love life sometimes leads me to believe that I’m really, really not meant to be tied down for a long time yet. Of course this could be justification for my own patheticness, but whatever. I’m on the path to self righteousness man, get out of my way.


Also, wtf is up with this video from Fox? This is disgusting. I’m all for poking fun at us Canadians, as long as it’s done tastefully and is actually funny. These people are just complete morons, seriously. None of their jabs are even remotely creative, and that fucking idiot host just sits there with a big grin on his face like he’s the coolest piece of shit on TV. I bet he uses his job title as a way to pick up women, but probably ends up being the loser at the party who gets too drunk and dances on the table then passes out with his pants around his ankles. I love how they all toss in big words every now and then to sound smart. Fucking morons. This commentary was aired the day that three Canadians were killed in Afghanistan. Have some fucking taste you pieces of shit.