When I was in France two weeks ago, I picked up the cheapest body wash I could find at the supermarket. I didn’t even smell it or read the label, just tossed it in my cart and went on my way.

 

But I have since become so obsessed with the smell and texture of the cream, that I fear its inevitable bottom. It simply might just be the best thing that has ever come in contact with my skin, and that includes men.

 

But what the hell am I gonna do when it’s gone? Seriously? If someone can track down a box of these babies and mail them to me, I will be forever grateful. I will spam the Internet with words of appraisal; I will scream my happiness from the top of Signal Hill. Or at least tell me where I can buy this online.

 

I have developed an unbelievable obsession with food. I had a fucking dream the other night that I was having some kind of internal war with myself about whether or not to eat a piece of cake. In the end I chose the healthy option, and awoke feeling rather happy about it.

 

So today I tried to stop my sugar binging. I even declined my co-worker’s offer to buy me an Ice Cap at Tim Horton’s. But then my other co-worker brought oatmeal and raisin cookies in a bag of good intentions and wide smiles. I can’t help but feel guilty when I looked at him in disgust and horror. Then I devoured one cookie, and had a strawberry cheesecake ice-cream for good measure. 

 

You know what else is amazing?! Chips Ahoy cookies dipped in Orange Pekoe tea. Omgomgomogmomg. But ONLY Chips Ahoy!! They soften just perfectly; the miost ones will merely fall apart.

 

It’s not that I think I’m fat or anything, but I’ve worked very hard these past six months. And I’m single. And practically celibate. And my gawd if I ever hope to get married someday my legs better not look like cottage cheese in a silk bag.

 

PET PEEVE OF THE CENTURY: WHY, WHY is there NO good Canadian shopping online?! WTF?! I just want to make outrageous purchases and THE INTERNET WON’T LET ME!

 

Going to start learning web design, as an amateur. Someone point me to some good reading.

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