Today, while crossing the road on my way to work, I found myself deep in concentration. If I don’t concentrate deeply on crossing the road, I will get hit by a moving vehicle because people in St. John’s are careless fucktards like that.

So there’s two guys standing on the corner near me, and one says: “Excuse me.”

I glance at him, and he grins and motions to his smile as an indication for me to smile. This man, standing on the corner with long, silver hair in a NEON WINDBREAKER, is telling me to lighten up. I burst out into erratic laughter.


“That’s right sweetheart, smile.”


Oh yeah asshole, I’ll smile. I’ll smile because secretly in my head I’m thinking about punching you in the balls. I don’t like mornings. And I don’t like you.


Abby Lee – Diary of a Sex Fiend


I wish this girl were my real friend. She’s an ANIMAL. Word of advice: THIS IS NOT GOOD BEDTIME READING. Unless you have a drawer of toys nearby. Check out her blog: