I keep getting work emails telling me that my inbox is over its size limit, so I went through everything and deleted about a bajillion files, and then checked my junkmail. There was this particular email that jumped out at me in such an accusatory fashion, that my heart started hammering and I immediately thought how’d they know?

 

LESBIAN

LESBIAN

Such a simple, one-lined subject with all the malice this spammer could muster. And then I realized, what a second, I love men! Men and their muscled pecs, chest hair, deep voices, large hands, suave son-of-a-bitch attitudes.

 

On the other hand, I’ve had enough. This past year I’ve been disrespected, used and puked on more than I ever have in my entire lifetime. Mostly it’s my fault for putting myself in these situations, but fuck everyone for taking advantage of my naivety. Nobody deserves that. And I know I’ve been equally an asshole in certain situations, but how is that men are entirely different species than women?  Wait ‘til I’m famous, bitches.

 

In other news, I’ve lost my wallet and my surgery is in less than a week. HOLY SHIT. 25 k hike this weekend, good opportunity to clear my head. And also, my parents are visiting. They sent me a lovely package filled with hand-picked blueberries and bottled moose meat. Yum. I also haven’t been able to shake the “bay talk” since they left, b’y the lard tunderin’ Jesus me ‘ol cock, ‘tis some fearful.

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