My good friend Captain is headed off to Afghanistan today, to fulfill his duty as a part of the Canadian military. The first time he said “going off to war” I felt sick to my stomach. It’s funny how so far removed we are from what’s going on overseas…or at least I am. I plead ignorance.

Anyway, I told him I’d pay tribute. And although I’m not very educated on what’s going on over there, I’ve been learning the basics from him. Honestly, I don’t know how he or anyone fucking does it. The kind of lives soldiers lead, and the kind of crap they have to witness…not to mention the discipline. No booze for eight months? Wtf?

You got balls, Captain. I admire your cool-headedness through this whole process, your positive outlook, and your courage. And your bum. And my GOD if I’m ever going to be a military wife I’ll need a stiff drink by my side every night, because I’m pretty sure I’ll be worried about you for the next eight months. I actually have this on my mind more than the fact I have Lasik surgery in an hour. I know you’ll be fine though, we have many more George Street Festivals to attend, shots to take and strippers to disrespect. Totally worth it for a man in uniform. Oh yeah.

Wish my friend good luck, readers! And prayers for safe travels. You’ll be on my mind, I’m glad I got to know you over the past two months. Just wait until I start stalking you with handwritten letters, you’re gonna love it.

Off to get my eyesight reversed, no big deal. See ya’ll tomorrow.

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