I left my office in the lighthouse this afternoon to find myself in the middle of a blizzard.

I walked out into the parking lot, noticed the snow on the cars, and stopped dead in my tracks. Seriously. I looked upwards at the sky, held out my hands, and realized I was standing in a huge pile of slushy snow.

I yelled, “SERIOUSLY?!” to no one in particular, then went to the gym.

Unfortunately, by the time I left the gym, the wind had picked up and I was being blown all over the sidewalk, while wearing sneakers on slippery pavement. I slid everywhere.

Then I had to walk up FOUR HUGE STEEP GIANT DISGUSTING hills, trying to find decent footing somewhere. At one point, I stood in the middle of my street, swaying dangerously on the verge of collapsing. A car drove up to me. I stared at the car, and the car stared at me. If I moved, I surely would have slipped. Instead, I did a crab shuffle to the side of the road, and managed to make it home without any unfortunate incidents.

I am freezing. If I had balls, I would be freezing them off. My hands are icy, and this stupid 100-year-old townhouse is shuddering in the 110 km/hour winds. I cannot WAIT to see how the rest of this winter will turn out. SERIOUSLY, St. John’s? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s October 14th.

Investing in a pair of these: