…Robin laid an egg?
Well you guys are just the greatest support network a gal like me could ask for. I’m recovering quite well from the giant holes in my face, and now I just seem to be suffering from severe lethargy. The thought of getting up in 6 hours for work is enough to make me want to tear out my stitches. I just want sleep.
I attempted Christmas shopping yesterday. I tend to do these things alone, because I’m bit of a gloomy shopper. As soon as I step foot in a mall I feel depressed, utterly dejected, and damned near impoverished. If it’s not on sale, I can’t buy it (although I’ll never understand the reasoning behind buying a plain t-shirt for fucking $50 just because it’s a label brand). With the CRAZED INSANITY PSYCHOTICNESS of Christmas shopping upon us, this awful mood just intensifies x100.
I grumble, and groan, and break out in nervous sweats. I have to sweep the ENTIRE MALL first, comparing deals and pricetags and merch, before I can even CONSIDER buying anything. I wanted to buy the Planet Earth series for my father yesterday, but it was $99. I discovered it later on Amazon for $36. See what I mean?
Anyway, I picked up a few small things. Nothing for mom or dad. No wrapping paper. No Christmas cards. I have to go back there, to that miserable hole. To that soul-eating sonofabitch building. Dammit.
I had an extremely quiet weekend. Girls night at JagerBomb where I looked on sadly as everyone devoured nachos and it was forbidden to me (need I describe my agony?). Everyone drank casually and I drank water. Lil Sis stayed over and we cuddled and caught up on things. She’s going to Thailand for a freaking month to visit her brother, and I am eaten up with jealousy.
Last night, some lady friends came over and we attempted watching a movie but mostly just sat around chatting. Hevs made me some wicked-awesome chicken soup. Damn I’ve been so cranky lately with all these swirly life hormones but I have amazing friends, they take such great care of me.
Then my roomies and some of their friends were getting ready to check-out the skeet pub known as Peter Easton. As they were leaving, I was upstairs in my room but I could hear them talking. Someone asked why I was staying at home.
“She just had her wisdom teeth out,” Chef said. I swear I could hear the pride in his voice. “Otherwise she’d be out, she’s a bigger alcoholic than the both of us put together.”
Damn, such a reputation to live up to.
Also did the whole Christmas parade thing today, complete with banana-hot-chocolate and Hevs. It was pretty sweet, but I wish companies would stop slapping signs onto a moving vehicle and calling it a “parade float”, and perhaps the dancers should crack a smile. It scares me how bitter I am.
So here’s a pretty perfect example of a skeet. His name is Donnie Dunphy, and chances are you won’t find him all that funny because there’s so many Newfoundland references, but you’ll get the imagery/speech. This is what I refer to as a “Newfie” accent, except mine generally isn’t all that bad unless you toss me in with a bunch of people from da bay. But that’s a different story.
Also, a delivery guy came to the house tonight with a big stack of pizzas for “Walsh.” ?! Who the HELL ordered pizza for me?
15 comments
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November 30, 2009 at 4:56 am
J
I wish people would mystery order pizza for ME.
You must be cool.
November 30, 2009 at 6:32 am
Deidre
I am soooo with you on christmas shopping – it sucks. I try to avoid it at all costs; which sounds terrible but generally means I make gifts for people in stead.
Re: wrapping paper have you considered using some green alternative besides buying the stuff? like if you have paper bags around you can make potato stamps and make them pretty? or just wrap in newspaper in stead? The greenie in my can’t stomach wrapping paper – rant over, I promise 😉
November 30, 2009 at 2:34 pm
carissajade
I’m with you on the shopping… I don’t think I can do it this year. I’m gonna do all online.. but even that scares me a little.
I think its the Christmas music that intensifies it… Makes me want to stab fake icicles into my eyeballs…
November 30, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Sabina
I’m with you. Malls are horrific. They should not exist.
And so that was a skeet – I pictured them better dressed somehow.
November 30, 2009 at 9:36 pm
JoAnna
Avoid the mall. Wrap in newspaper. Then you can avoid people and tinny music and save the planet.
November 30, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Lottie
haha donnie drives past your street.. i never noticed that before!
remember back in the day (a.k.a early 2009) when we would watch that and new townie man like 8 times a night?
November 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm
*uncorked
I avoid malls like the plague from the week before Thanksgiving to the week after New Years. I just can’t do it. I do all my shopping online and have everything sent to my office so I look popular. Maybe one day I’ll get a gift not from someone blood related.
December 1, 2009 at 12:21 am
ClassroomConfessions
Ugh! I hate, no make that loathe, the mall. I think it’s because I worked in retail for so many years. I just can’t handle all the non-sense! Awesome with the mysterious pizza delivery. What I wouldn’t do for pizza right now. I’m starving!
December 1, 2009 at 2:48 am
AdventureRob
I’ve been doing my xmas shopping fully online since 2006, you’re so 2003 Candice!
December 1, 2009 at 3:01 am
angryredhead
@J: I’m seriously dying to know who did it
@Deidre: I think it’s something I’ll consider for next year, I just can’t seem to part with the shiny paper and the sparkly ribbons and the adorable gift-tags AHHHHH. If you have any resources to make pretty paper though, let me know
@CJ: That was my thought too, doing it online…I think next year I’ll start in September
@Sabina: Actually, he’s dressed pretty well for a skeet…
@JoAnna: I asked Deidre above, but do you have any good DIY resources to do this? I’m not nearly as crafty as I should be, considering I’m a Girl Guider and spent the evening assembling gingerbread houses
@Lottie: Damn I didn’t watch the whole video, it wouldn’t load. Bahahaha, let’s not forget Glenwood Irving
@V: TOTALLY doing that next year. Unfortunately the online shopping options in Canada are le suck
@Cammy: I wish they had given us the pizza for free,that would have been swell. I wonder what they did with it?
@Rob: It’s because I live in canada!!! DAMMIT
December 1, 2009 at 4:42 am
Eric
I feel your pain on the whole Christmas shopping ordeal. This time of year I like to avoid malls like the plague. Amazon has saved me many times over the past few years especially since I can have it wrapped by them and shipped where it needs to go. This year will be different and I am looking forward to doing some shopping. Hopefully I can find some cool Korean things to send home, and hopefully my bottles of soju (a horrible Korean liquor that is cheaper than water) don’t get broken on the trip across the pond. I hate the stuff but feel my brothers should feel my pain as well.
December 1, 2009 at 2:52 pm
nashe
I love shopping for gifts!! Too bad I don’t have many occasions to do that. It’s prolly a good thing, eh?
I wanna hear your accent! Whoootz!
December 2, 2009 at 2:56 am
angryredhead
@Eric: Ahh, soju! I’ve heard lots about that. I’d imagine shipping from SK will cost you a small fortune?
@Nashe: Someday, someday! P.S. I have a postcard ready for you, wooo!
December 2, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Nancy
I’m thrilled to know what a Newfie accent is now. How. Awesome. The guy’s accent in the video reminds me of a Canadian accent with a little Irish thrown in. Of course, I have no idea what I’m talking about. haha.
I’m with you on the shopping. Boo. Commercialism + screaming little kids=grumpy Nancy.
December 3, 2009 at 3:35 am
angryredhead
You NAILED it! heavily influenced by the Irish.