slumlord | That's Tangly

Quote of the night from one of the Girl Guides: “Boys…they just don’t think.”

We went to visit a nursing museum tonight. It was pretty interesting what with the 100 year old shock therapy machines and iron lungs, etc. The woman who gave us the tour was 90-something and absolutely the sharpest senior citizen I have ever met. Nadda touch of senility. I wandered into a super cool old doctor’s office and found a bunch of antique books and old ink-wells. When/if I get my own home some day, I want an office exactly like that.

The best thing EVER happened today. We got evicted. Sorta.

I came home from work and discovered there had been some mishap with the landlord. On Howie’s way to class, my landlord stopped him and told him that we had to move out because the Chinese people downstairs called to complain that we were being too loud at 12 a.m. Howie was stunned and argued that me and him were the only ones awake in the house at that time, and we were simply watching television (i.e. he was watching LOST and I was drooling over shirtless Sawyer who DID make an appearance and told some missus “Shut it Ginger, before I shut it for you” which nearly made me wet myself because there’s nothing I love more than sexy assholes like shirtless Sawyer). So Howie proceeds to walk to class all flabbergasted and my landlord starts thinkin’ “Gee, why did the Chinese folk get their panties in such a knot?”

So when my landlord gets to our house, he decides to call up the missus who had contacted him. He asks where she lives, and she gives him a different address than ours. Turns out he has more Chinese tenants than he can keep straight. We’re all having a laugh about it, my landlord leaves, and Howie is still in class shittin’ bricks.

When he gets home, we decide to play along with it, and boy can my roommates lie. Dirty rotten liars. Not a flicker of a smile or a hint of deceit. We’re waiting for hell to break loose and Howie’s pacing back and forth talking about how he’s gonna “rip them a new asshole,” when the landlord calls.

Howie: “Hello? Oh hi. Yeah I’m home from class now. When do you want us out?”

(long pause, Howie turns to us)

Howie: “Landlord says you’re all sons of bitches.”

(cue uncontrollable laughter while the landlord tells Howie the story)

BUT that’s not the best part…oh no, not in a long shot. The BEST PART is that our landlord feels SO BAD about the torture he’s inflicted upon Howie and for some reason feels guilty about our own personal attack, he tells Howie he’s going to knock a month off his rent. Not a fucking joke. Can you say backfire?

Anyway, still funny. Ha ha. Ha.

Went out for a romantic drive with Agent-T tonight, parked at Signal Hill and took in all the pretty lights. Then we bitched about life until my throat hurt. Seems to be the theme lately.